Intentional Work, LLC

I recently re-read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and was completely caught off-guard by something Stephen Covey wrote:

"…love is a verb. Love -- the feeling -- is a fruit of love, the verb.

...Reactive people make [love] a feeling...

… Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn in to the world...

...Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. " (7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey, pg. 80).

This was a business book. A book I was reading to help my executive coaching clients become more effective. What was he doing talking about 'L-O-V-E'. Was I one of those people that was being 'reactive'? (At that moment, yes).

So much of our language these days is reactive. And it's becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hear my clients, my friends, family and associates using language that is reactive and then producing evidence to support the belief. There is an increased feeling of being a victim and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny. It's no surprise the blame falls to outside themselves (other people, circumstances, even astrology) for a situation of their own making.

But how do we change that?

Start noticing where and how often you're doing it. Some phrases you might hear yourself (or someone else) make that are Reactive:

• "There's nothing I can do about it."
• "She makes me so mad."
• "He won't allow that."
• "I can't."
• "If only."
• "That's just the way things are."

You know what? Those statements absolve the person saying them of any responsibility. Yet, aren't we responsible? We don't live in the paradigm of determinism (all circumstances are out of our control). We determine what happens.

Here are some ways to make the language Proactive:

• "Let's look at the alternatives." (What can I do to shift things?)
• "I control my own feelings." (She knows how to push my buttons, but it's my choice to get mad.)
• "I can create an effective presentation." (I can make a different choice, consider alternatives.)
• "I choose." (Because we always have a choice.)
• "I will." (I choose to.)
• "I can choose a different approach." (Because there's always another way.)

Over the last few years I have become a MASTER at proactive statements and positive thinking. Many of my friends and clients comment on it ("Your positivity is infectious!", "You always come up with the silver lining", "Are you always so positive?"). After working in a high-stress, high tech company, I had to start making different choices if I wanted to be able to survive, or even thrive. One of those choices, was to remind myself, I always had a choice.

My biggest choice was to do something I loved, in a way I loved doing it. I stopped being reactive and started being a whole lot more proactive.

I went and make love a verb.

What can you do to be proactive? What do you already do that is?

Join me for a Small Group, Proactive, tele-coaching program. 4 weeks. Better habits. Better results. Breakthroughs. Starts Monday the 16th. 2 Spots left.

How often do we put things we intend to do at the bottom of the list because more urgent (not necessarily more important) things come up?  We make an intention and don't put structure or set-up any support to help make it happen.

Looking back, looking forward, thinking big. By Sylvia Taylor

Intention is the compass, goals are the map. We need both. Goals help keep us focused and intentions keep us on the right map.

I look back at my 30 Day Challenge: Fit or Fat by 40, and realize that it was about time and choosing to put time in my calendar to be physically active for at least 30 minutes, everyday, 7 days a week. That's a lot to ask, and a challenge for me. I had to keep it a priority, as big a priority as a client meeting. And yet, it was just for me, so I could make the choice to cancel it, since no one would know but me. However, I also made the choice, the commitment, that this was something important to me and I had to give it the time (to put my money where my mouth was).

See how that works? I made the choice to give it time. It's important, so I supported myself to make it happen, by putting it in my calendar and following through.

You know the funny thing? My biggest learning came from intention: I had intended to blog about the experience. I blogged twice.  And that intention, without a structure or support, completely fell through. I ran out of time and it kept getting put on the back burner. But what a gift! Now I know it's something I need to schedule and to create a block of time to get it done.

So, what intention have you had for a while and not done anything about? What intention or goal have you had that didn't get the right structure or support to help make it happen? Start over. Try again.

You can also join me for a 4 week Tele-class (starts next Monday, only 2 spots left) that can help you make big breakthroughs with this kind of stuff. You'll learn a lot about intention, setting inspired goals, creating structure and support to get it all (and more) done. In only 4 weeks. And you'll be able to keep the learning going long after the 4 weeks is over.

The year isn't over yet. Here's to getting more done and following through on our intentions.

The size of success is limited only by the size of your thinking. Thinking big begins with believing big.

~David Schwartz

"Every person, all the events of your life are there because
you have drawn them there. What you choose
to do with them is up to you."~ Richard Bach: An American Writer

Most of us can't imagine that the above is true - especially if you are out of work or going through a health scare. We don't see these things as choices. We tend to believe that they happen to us, not because of the choices we made, but perhaps just bad luck.

Take a look at it another way. You may not have gotten laid off by choice, but you did chose to work for the company, you chose your career and you chose to learn the skills and get the education that would allow you to be in the career. If you aren't where you want to be NOW, the question to ask is: What do I choose differently, so the outcome is different?

What choices can you start making TODAY, that will allow you to start creating the future you really want. Even if you don't know what that is, you do know what you DON'T want (the same old story), so again, ask yourself: What can I choose to do differently?

Don't know where to start? Try your attitude and shifting your belief that things that happen TO you, are not about luck, but about preparation, belief and action.

Want a fun and productive way to launch youself into a productive next six months? Join me at my next workshop where we'll use an exclusive tool to tap into your right and left brain!

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. ~M. Scott Peck, author, The Road Less Traveled

I think Mr. Peck is right on. I've seen this pop up a lot lately. People are unhappy and think they are stuck. They have no choice, but to go on being miserable (golden hand-cuffs and the like). We are really only stuck in the mindset of having chosen to be stuck. And when we finally get uncomfortable enough, frustrated enough and unhappy enough, we'll finally do something about it.

Those are my clients. Ready to get unstuck. Ready to get moving. Ready to make something, anything, start happening that's different than where they are and what they are doing now. And we do: get moving, get unstuck and definitely, get happier.

I have a program coming up where you can even get unstuck with others. You don't have to go it alone. It's time to get moving forward, make a plan and begin traveling.

And it just might be the road less traveled, but I guarantee, you won't be stuck...

Have a story or thought to share on how you got unstuck? I would love to hear it!

I recently got lost. Actually, I get lost all the time (I don't own a GPS. What fun would that be?), but I don't really mind. I always discover a new way to get to my destination and when I'm really open to possibilities, I find magic -- in the form of a great restaurant, new park, or a short cut.

Back to me getting lost... I was walking my dog Ruby in my own neighborhood. Though I've been here for almost two years, there are streets I just don't walk down because I have a route I like to take. This past weekend, I decided to change it up and take a different route to the top of a hill. I turned left, right and then left and found myself at a dead end. So I went back the way I came (or so I thought) and ended up at, you guessed it, another dead-end. I wasn't sure how I earth I could get lost in my own neighborhood, but I did.

What I chose to do then, was not retrace my steps, but to keep going up the hill and be open to what I would find (like perhaps a main road). What I got was even better: a clear, un-obstructed view of the Puget Sound, Vashon Island and lots of sky. What I got was a new place to watch the sun set. What I got was another spot to view eagles. What I got was magic.

Going from lost to found; a transition worth making.

There are times we all feel lost. Maybe we panic. Hopefully we don't. When we do find ourselves unsure, why not stop, breathe and believe we'll find some magic around the next corner. Be open to discovery.

Ironically, my twin sister, over at CultureFlow, just wrote another post about getting lost. Culturally it happens too. It's amazing (not just the twin thing!) that no matter where we end up, we can choose to get there with a smile and having learned something. Or we can choose to get mad, swat the GPS and completely miss the magic.

What's your favorite way to 'get lost' or what do you do that helps you find the magic?