What I Have Learned So Far

Meditation is old and honorable, so why should I

not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside,

looking into the shining world?  Because, properly

attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is suggestion.

Can one be passionate about the just, the

ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit

to no labor in its cause?  I don't think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a

story, all kindness begins with the sown seed.

Thought buds toward radiance.  The gospel of

light is the crossroads of -- indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone.

~ Mary Oliver ~

 (New and Selected Poems Volume Two)

(Image by Sylvia Taylor All Rights Reserved)

Seems rather appropriate doesn't it? You can either light-up or stay in the shadows. It takes an intentional action, the swipe of a match against the tinder, the thought turned into movement. The time has come to be the spark, ignite the fire and burn brightly.

Be ignited, or be gone...

Three Turtles © Christopher Guerino | Dreamstime.comI recently went to a Seattle Crave Chat Event called, "Mentors Move Mountains". I was looking forward to hearing how, at least in the fashion industry, the three dynamic women on the panel used mentors to help them build their business, how they found their mentors and what advice they would give to others seeking a mentor. 

I was a bit disappointed. The women were nice, accomplished in their work and yet, for the most part, only explained how their spouses or family members where their best mentors. There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But I was looking for experience, stories of how mentoring in their industry, specifically, helped them in their businesses and how they found their mentors. Only one talked about how a mentor other than her husband or family member really helped her in her business.

I had to ask myself if this was typical, or maybe just typical in fashion. 

When I scrolled through my memory of being in high-tech and telecommunications, or even tourism and photography, I can (as an over 30-something woman) happily say that I have had some amazing mentors, specifically women.

Am I one of the lucky ones? Is this an anomaly? Is it just a fluke or is it my industry? I don’t think so. Fantastic and helpful mentors are everywhere you want to find them.

There were a lot of questions about how to find mentors, but again, only one panelist shared who in her work past was in this role (other than a spouse or family member). Do women really find it that difficult to find a mentor? Are we really, as a gender, not helpful to our own? Again, maybe it’s just in the fashion industry, but I don’t think so.

Below are my best tips in finding a mentor, no matter your industry.

1. Start by being a mentor yourself!

If you don’t feel ready to ask someone else for help, boost your confidence by helping someone else. It’s not about dishing out trade secrets, but about sharing what you already know, the hard lessons learned, the tricks and tips. It will also help you understand the other side of the relationship better. When your mentee is late or comes unprepared to a meeting, how does that make you feel? When we know better, we do better.

2. Ask: Who’s my dream mentor?

If I could have anyone I choose giving me advice in how to run my business, do my work, and share with me what they’ve learned, who would it be? It doesn’t have to be realistic. The point is to look at the characteristics this person holds and the experience they’ve had and be inspired.

My Dream Mentor – Richard Branson (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). He’s not just successful, he’s known to take big creative risks, to do things unlike anyone else and to have a lot of fun in his work (and make sure his people do too). These are what I aspire to and have looked for mentors with the same attitude. After all, I’m not launching an airline, a music label or a space program, but I do want to bring those qualities into my work. What about you? What qualities do you need in your business and who has them?

3. Explore your own network.

How many times do we have to say it to believe it – it’s a small world. It’s amazing when we start to really, deeply explore who is in our network of friends and family to discover that we know people (who know people) who have made amazing things happen. We may not know them personally, but we surly know someone who knows them. And it's surprisingly easy to ask them - "How did you do it?" Post on LinkedIn, post on Facebook and Twitter and any other social media you feel comfortable, that you're looking for a mentor (be specific if you want a certain industry or company). You'll be surprised at how closely connected you really are to a network of mentors.

Now all you need to do is go get a mentor! And it's not as challenging as you might think. Honestly, we all want to help. The intentional work of asking for help can be met with a big 'No', but more than likely it will be met with a resounding, "YES!".

Bonus: Ask for help and offer something in return.

With the right approach, we all love to be asked for help, to share our knowledge. I’m not talking about “Can I pick your brain?” (that’s outdated and a bit rude in my book). So how about try, “I’m so impressed with your work and how you do what you do. I’d love to buy you coffee/tea/sit down with you and hear some of your stories and share with you what I’m learning and doing.” Each mentor/mentee relationship requires you to own your share of the partnership and responsibility of showing up. Show your future mentor that's what you intend to do and I bet you’ll get a positive response.

Mentors can move mountains and it’s not hard to find one. Show-up, know what you’re looking for, explore who might have it and ask for help. If you need help in exploring any of these points, let me know. I’d love to help!

A personal message to my mentors (past and present):

Thank You. Your passion, drive, talent, kindness and insight have gotten me where I am today, and I couldn’t have done it, and had as much fun as I did, without you!

Trust is a link to stronger team performance. And it feels good!

Want to trust others? Trust yourself first.

In the last couple of months I’ve heard one too many stories about a leader or manager that doesn’t trust their teams. If leaders don’t trust their people and what they are doing, and employees don’t feel trusted to do what the leaders are asking them to do, it’s a vicious cycle - a lose/lose situation. Results suffer. 

Here’s how my brain works: “When we trust ourselves, we can more easily trust others. When people trust each other, team performance increases”.

I don’t think that’s rocket science, do you? I doubt any of my clients would argue that trust is the number one thing that can affect the outcome of a project, relationship or even a conversation. Yet, we still have such a hard time figuring out how to gain trust.

Looking at the landscape of what’s going on in our nation at the moment (Occupy Wall Street for example), anyone can see, there’s a major lack of trust going on. It trickles down, unfortunately, like anything else, from the top. However, I also believe we can really only control our own behavior, our own beliefs, our own actions, not anyone else’s. To me the solution is to not worry about others. That’s right, you heard me, don’t worry about them.  Let’s focus instead, on what we can do ourselves to increase our own level of self-trust, our own integrity.

“The fastest way to restore trust is to make and keep commitments, even very small commitments, to ourselves and others.” Stephen M. R. Covey (pg 13 Speed of Trust) 

Trust starts with the self. If you can trust yourself, your decisions, your actions, your ability to make and meet commitments, you have demonstrated what you want to see in others. Others will see it too and it will spread (that’s the hope). Trust (as well as distrust) can have a ripple effect. But it needs to start with self.

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviors,” Stephen R. Covey

So what’s the solution? Make a small commitment. Keep it. Sounds simple, but how many of us do it? I committed, in public (Facebook), last week, to write this blog post. It’s done. And it feels really good.  I’ll commit to writing another one next week. (Eeks, now I’ve gone and done it). 

What commitment can you make, and keep, this week? To yourself, or someone else, that will matter? What effect do you think that will have in your level of trust in yourself? I bet it’ll go up. And when you start to trust yourself, you can recognize, and soon demand it, of others. 

Yep. We need to know how many people are committed to coming so we can get everything ready. Are you committed? It's so easy. Just click here!

Time flies when you're having fun, and it flies when you're just freakin' busy. I don't know about you all, but time has felt like it sped up about a year ago. Time just flies anymore - whether I'm having fun or not! Luckily, most of the time I'm having a blast.

One of the things keeping me busy is putting together this fun and dynamic workshop using one of my favorite tools called VisualsSpeak. It's used a lot in team facilitation, intercultural communication (it's used at Nike a lot), coaching, ice-breakers... oh the list goes on. 

I've pulled together my favorite tools and created an afternoon of discovery, connecting (with ourselves and with others), and designing, not just an image of what we want, but action steps to make those things real.

Stories aren't just make-believe. They are the beginnings of what we can make real. 

If you keep telling the same, sad, old, tired story - you'll keep living the same, sad, old, tired story. 

Its time to tell a new one. A glorious one. A TRUE one. One that you can make real. One that gives you JOY. You do have the power to create a wholehearted life, but it will take releasing the old stuff and welcoming in the new.

Join us on Saturday for a creative, fun, safe and supportive storytelling circle.

It's time to tell your story. Your True story.

Release the old stories, write a new one!

First rule of thumb though, for anyone looking to become indispensable: don't wait for someone else to give you the permission to find the solution - take initiative - try something. In other words, don't just sit there, do something.

"There are no longer any great jobs where someone else tells you precisely what to do."

~Seth Godin

Try something. Experiment. Ask for help. Do the work.

All that sounds simple, easy even, but with our lizard brain getting in the way (that ego!) our fear stops us in our tracks. Sometimes it is easier to just sit there and wait. Wait for someone else to give us the answer and tell us what we're supposed to do with the project, at work, in our lives.

But we each have to make our own choices. And choices require action. And courage. Doing something.

My charge for you today: Don't just sit there, waiting for change, do something. One small thing, that moves you to where you want to go. Right now.

From Louise Erdrich's book, The Painted Drum

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.

Remember that its connected. Life's sweeter moments are those that we made happen in spite of the fear, pain, rejection and perceived failures. So we have celebration, triumph, joy.

How about them apples?

My clients are like that too. That makes me smile. Big. My intention and hope is to get more people to smile and make intention and service a part of what they do everyday. It's not a muscle that many of us are used to moving (or maybe we don't even know how to get started).

Well, these guys have found a way - a very inspiring way. It's called Smove, or rather Smile & Move. It's a movement. It's something we can all learn to do, in 9 simple ways, to create more ways to inspire intentional actionfor us, for our teams, for our families and friends. Check out this video - and SMOVE your way into the new year!

The 9 simple ways to smile & move:

1. Wake-up - engage with care and attention
2. Be thankful - the opportunity to serve is a gift.
3. Be approachable - we're at each other's service.
4. Complain less - being positive is more fun.
5. Smile. Really- it's where pleasantness begins.
6. Start early and go long - get lost in your service to others.
7. Exceed expectations - expect more from yourself.
8. Have a sense of urgency - everyone's time is valuable.
9. Be resourceful and resilient - results are what we're all after.

You can find more information about this inspirational work on their website.

Visionary companies may appear strait-laced to outsiders, but they're not afraid to make bold commitments to Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs).

Like climbing Mt. Everest, going to the moon, putting a computer on every desk (sound familiar?), a BHAG can sound daunting, risky and maybe even dangerous...

... but the adventure, excitement, and challenge of it grabs people in the gut, gets their juices flowing and creates immense forward momentum. - Dan Zadra

2010 is the year to think big.After the last two years of status quo and major shifts in some paradigms, its time. And I believe it's high time to go BIG.

I'm inspiring my friends, family and clients (and myself!) to dream big, think big and then start taking baby steps, one small intentional action at a time, to make those things happen. I'm coaching people to get them inspired and wired to make things happen.

You can do it too. Your friends, family, clients, co-workers. Some ways to get you started.

1. Get clear about what you want. Crystal clear. Make a list of all that you want. Be specific.
2. Make sure it pertains to you. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Make sure what you want is something you can effect.
3. Believe you can have it. Trust that it will arrive and know that it might not look like what you think it should.
4. Be grateful for what you already have. Say thank you. Over and over. Smile.
5. Build your community. Share your goal, your inspiration, your requests, your success. The universe does it all the time. What you put out, comes back to you (at least I think so). We help make that happen by sharing with others and that means giving and receiving.

Where do you want to go? What BIG things do you want? Share them!

'Tis the season and all that. And there's never a better time to start than now.

Because you're already here.

What to dive into 2010 with all your ducks in a row? What to jump start your BHAGs and get started now? Join me in January get to going full speed ahead!

So when I was asking myself what I could really do to serve my customers, and when I say customers, I mean the folks I coach who are in leadership positions - I realized we were essentially asking ourselves the same thing this week.

How can we better engage with our customers for more sustainable success?

What arrived in an email was the answer, from Jim Champy, a fellow consultant and best-selling author. He layed out his 9 steps (or keys) to a more customer-centric organization and what it takes to keep people engaged (and that goes for employees too).

1. Relationships reign.  The top companies spend face time with their clients (and leaders with their people). No shortcuts here.
2. Perspective prevails.  Zipcar doesn’t see themselves in the automobile rental business.  They are in the shared ownership business.  This gives them an entirely new frame of reference (and opportunities) than Enterprise, Hertz, Alamo, or Avis.
3. Customers are king.  Unless you are proud of running a top-down, bureaucratic company, you must engage your customers in every aspect of your planning and marketing activity. Because they are already there.
4. Calm empowers.  People will reward you handsomely for grace under pressure. Just look at Colin Powell. Cool, calm and collected.
5. Innovation opens opportunity.  What activities are you hosting to open creative channels and reward better ways of doing business? In these tough  times, we’ll get more out of expansive thinking, instead of constant fire-fighting.
6. Know your values. If you’re confused between delivering high quality and who your customer is, you might choose to spend in the wrong places and invest in the wrong direction.  Don’t let poor decision became urban legend.
7. Everyone plays.  You are no longer in charge of your brand or your marketing plan. Your entire community contributes to it. Just ask United Airlines after the “United Breaks Guitars” video reached all corners of the universe (thank you YouTube).
8. Authenticity is essential.  Your clients and employees define who you are, and what you stand for, in every community. Protecting your client feedback as confidential information will be trumped by vehicles such as Yelp.

What are you doing to engage your customers/employees for more success?

Listening is a good start...

And being open to opportunity is another.

9 out of 10 people say they are more productive around positive people.

So why are there still some managers that insist on ruling by fear?