Intentional Work, LLC

Change can be a big deal. It can feel like the end of the world, or the beginning of a new dawn. It depends on where you are coming from. I've been in both situations and have come to realize that it's mostly about attitude. You choose the place you learn from and it's either going to be from a place of fear and pain or joy and discovery. So how do you make sure it's from a place of joy and discovery?

First thing to recognize is that all transitions, or changes, are composed of three parts. When you can identify which you are experiencing, you're half-way to discovering steps you can take to make it a joyful experience (or at least one that's not so painful).

The three phases of change:

1. The Ending: there's always an end before something new can begin. Whether it's flower buds blooming into flowers, eggs cracking to become chicks, or a job loss that turns you toward a new path. Some endings are predictable and some aren't, but before anything new can come, there must be an end. When we don't feel we've had the choice, endings can be painful, until we give ourselves the permission to grieve the loss. Endings are a great time to refuel our tanks, take stock of what came before and begin anew.
2. The Neutral Zone: the time that seems to be the most frustrating since we often can't see the results of our effort to change. The in-between time where things are percolating or you feel like you are treading water may be just the time you need to get your ducks in a row. It's a good time to practice gratitude, connecting with others and building your support circle for what's to come. And what's to come depends on the choices you allow yourself to make while you are in the neutral zone.
3. The New Beginning: Scary or exciting, unknown or known, beginnings are the end, so to speak. Once we make it through the ending and the neutral zone phases we are on our way to something bigger, and hopefully, better. Beginnings can be a time of just as much stress as endings. Like taking off the training wheels before you take a spin on just two, a belief you can do it and a large cheering section (or support if you tip) can go a long way to build your confidence and make the time less stressful.

What you need to keep in mind is that change, or transition, is a natural cycle of disorientation or reorientation. It happens all around us, everyday. Sometimes we are aware of it and sometimes it takes us by surprise. When you identify which phase of change you are in, depending on what's going on in your life, you can make the transition one of joy and discovery.

A few great resources for change by William Bridges, the Master of Change:

•  Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes (This book was an invaluable resource to me as I made my first big transition back to the US from living in Italy),
• The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments, (A great resource for navigating loss)
• Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change.

In the next post I'll talk more about endings so stay tuned!

For a fun, hands-on experience of working your way through transition come join me for my first LifeScape Lessons series: Transitions: Shift your Life from Lost to Living!