What I Have Learned So Far

What I Have Learned So Far

Meditation is old and honorable, so why should I

not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside,

looking into the shining world?  Because, properly

attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is suggestion.

Can one be passionate about the just, the

ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit

to no labor in its cause?  I don't think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a

story, all kindness begins with the sown seed.

Thought buds toward radiance.  The gospel of

light is the crossroads of -- indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone.

~ Mary Oliver ~

 (New and Selected Poems Volume Two)

(Image by Sylvia Taylor All Rights Reserved)

Seems rather appropriate doesn't it? You can either light-up or stay in the shadows. It takes an intentional action, the swipe of a match against the tinder, the thought turned into movement. The time has come to be the spark, ignite the fire and burn brightly.

Be ignited, or be gone...

3 top tips for finding a great mentor

Three Turtles © Christopher Guerino | Dreamstime.comI recently went to a Seattle Crave Chat Event called, "Mentors Move Mountains". I was looking forward to hearing how, at least in the fashion industry, the three dynamic women on the panel used mentors to help them build their business, how they found their mentors and what advice they would give to others seeking a mentor. 

I was a bit disappointed. The women were nice, accomplished in their work and yet, for the most part, only explained how their spouses or family members where their best mentors. There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But I was looking for experience, stories of how mentoring in their industry, specifically, helped them in their businesses and how they found their mentors. Only one talked about how a mentor other than her husband or family member really helped her in her business.

I had to ask myself if this was typical, or maybe just typical in fashion. 

When I scrolled through my memory of being in high-tech and telecommunications, or even tourism and photography, I can (as an over 30-something woman) happily say that I have had some amazing mentors, specifically women.

Am I one of the lucky ones? Is this an anomaly? Is it just a fluke or is it my industry? I don’t think so. Fantastic and helpful mentors are everywhere you want to find them.

There were a lot of questions about how to find mentors, but again, only one panelist shared who in her work past was in this role (other than a spouse or family member). Do women really find it that difficult to find a mentor? Are we really, as a gender, not helpful to our own? Again, maybe it’s just in the fashion industry, but I don’t think so.

Below are my best tips in finding a mentor, no matter your industry.

1. Start by being a mentor yourself!

If you don’t feel ready to ask someone else for help, boost your confidence by helping someone else. It’s not about dishing out trade secrets, but about sharing what you already know, the hard lessons learned, the tricks and tips. It will also help you understand the other side of the relationship better. When your mentee is late or comes unprepared to a meeting, how does that make you feel? When we know better, we do better.

2. Ask: Who’s my dream mentor?

If I could have anyone I choose giving me advice in how to run my business, do my work, and share with me what they’ve learned, who would it be? It doesn’t have to be realistic. The point is to look at the characteristics this person holds and the experience they’ve had and be inspired.

My Dream Mentor – Richard Branson (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). He’s not just successful, he’s known to take big creative risks, to do things unlike anyone else and to have a lot of fun in his work (and make sure his people do too). These are what I aspire to and have looked for mentors with the same attitude. After all, I’m not launching an airline, a music label or a space program, but I do want to bring those qualities into my work. What about you? What qualities do you need in your business and who has them?

3. Explore your own network.

How many times do we have to say it to believe it – it’s a small world. It’s amazing when we start to really, deeply explore who is in our network of friends and family to discover that we know people (who know people) who have made amazing things happen. We may not know them personally, but we surly know someone who knows them. And it's surprisingly easy to ask them - "How did you do it?" Post on LinkedIn, post on Facebook and Twitter and any other social media you feel comfortable, that you're looking for a mentor (be specific if you want a certain industry or company). You'll be surprised at how closely connected you really are to a network of mentors.

Now all you need to do is go get a mentor! And it's not as challenging as you might think. Honestly, we all want to help. The intentional work of asking for help can be met with a big 'No', but more than likely it will be met with a resounding, "YES!".

Bonus: Ask for help and offer something in return.

With the right approach, we all love to be asked for help, to share our knowledge. I’m not talking about “Can I pick your brain?” (that’s outdated and a bit rude in my book). So how about try, “I’m so impressed with your work and how you do what you do. I’d love to buy you coffee/tea/sit down with you and hear some of your stories and share with you what I’m learning and doing.” Each mentor/mentee relationship requires you to own your share of the partnership and responsibility of showing up. Show your future mentor that's what you intend to do and I bet you’ll get a positive response.

Mentors can move mountains and it’s not hard to find one. Show-up, know what you’re looking for, explore who might have it and ask for help. If you need help in exploring any of these points, let me know. I’d love to help!

A personal message to my mentors (past and present):

Thank You. Your passion, drive, talent, kindness and insight have gotten me where I am today, and I couldn’t have done it, and had as much fun as I did, without you!

The Top Link to Better Performance? Trust!

Trust is a link to stronger team performance. And it feels good!

Want to trust others? Trust yourself first.

In the last couple of months I’ve heard one too many stories about a leader or manager that doesn’t trust their teams. If leaders don’t trust their people and what they are doing, and employees don’t feel trusted to do what the leaders are asking them to do, it’s a vicious cycle - a lose/lose situation. Results suffer. 

Here’s how my brain works: “When we trust ourselves, we can more easily trust others. When people trust each other, team performance increases”.

I don’t think that’s rocket science, do you? I doubt any of my clients would argue that trust is the number one thing that can affect the outcome of a project, relationship or even a conversation. Yet, we still have such a hard time figuring out how to gain trust.

Looking at the landscape of what’s going on in our nation at the moment (Occupy Wall Street for example), anyone can see, there’s a major lack of trust going on. It trickles down, unfortunately, like anything else, from the top. However, I also believe we can really only control our own behavior, our own beliefs, our own actions, not anyone else’s. To me the solution is to not worry about others. That’s right, you heard me, don’t worry about them.  Let’s focus instead, on what we can do ourselves to increase our own level of self-trust, our own integrity.

“The fastest way to restore trust is to make and keep commitments, even very small commitments, to ourselves and others.” Stephen M. R. Covey (pg 13 Speed of Trust) 

Trust starts with the self. If you can trust yourself, your decisions, your actions, your ability to make and meet commitments, you have demonstrated what you want to see in others. Others will see it too and it will spread (that’s the hope). Trust (as well as distrust) can have a ripple effect. But it needs to start with self.

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviors,” Stephen R. Covey

So what’s the solution? Make a small commitment. Keep it. Sounds simple, but how many of us do it? I committed, in public (Facebook), last week, to write this blog post. It’s done. And it feels really good.  I’ll commit to writing another one next week. (Eeks, now I’ve gone and done it). 

What commitment can you make, and keep, this week? To yourself, or someone else, that will matter? What effect do you think that will have in your level of trust in yourself? I bet it’ll go up. And when you start to trust yourself, you can recognize, and soon demand it, of others. 

Last Day to Register for Storytelling Workshop - TODAY

I can hardly believe it's the last day to register for the workshop on Saturday! Today! Thursday the 11th.

Yep. We need to know how many people are committed to coming so we can get everything ready. Are you committed? It's so easy. Just click here!

Time flies when you're having fun, and it flies when you're just freakin' busy. I don't know about you all, but time has felt like it sped up about a year ago. Time just flies anymore - whether I'm having fun or not! Luckily, most of the time I'm having a blast.

One of the things keeping me busy is putting together this fun and dynamic workshop using one of my favorite tools called VisualsSpeak. It's used a lot in team facilitation, intercultural communication (it's used at Nike a lot), coaching, ice-breakers... oh the list goes on. 

I've pulled together my favorite tools and created an afternoon of discovery, connecting (with ourselves and with others), and designing, not just an image of what we want, but action steps to make those things real.

Stories aren't just make-believe. They are the beginnings of what we can make real. 

If you keep telling the same, sad, old, tired story - you'll keep living the same, sad, old, tired story. 

Its time to tell a new one. A glorious one. A TRUE one. One that you can make real. One that gives you JOY. You do have the power to create a wholehearted life, but it will take releasing the old stuff and welcoming in the new.

Join us on Saturday for a creative, fun, safe and supportive storytelling circle.

It's time to tell your story. Your True story.

Release the old stories, write a new one!

Don't just sit there, do something

In Seth Godin's newest book, Linchpin, he explains how to be invaluable in our work. Ok, he talks about a lot of things, but the biggie is how to become the person, in the work you do, you become the linchpin, the thing that holds it all together and the piece 'they' can't be without.

First rule of thumb though, for anyone looking to become indispensable: don't wait for someone else to give you the permission to find the solution - take initiative - try something. In other words, don't just sit there, do something.

"There are no longer any great jobs where someone else tells you precisely what to do."

~Seth Godin

Try something. Experiment. Ask for help. Do the work.

All that sounds simple, easy even, but with our lizard brain getting in the way (that ego!) our fear stops us in our tracks. Sometimes it is easier to just sit there and wait. Wait for someone else to give us the answer and tell us what we're supposed to do with the project, at work, in our lives.

But we each have to make our own choices. And choices require action. And courage. Doing something.

My charge for you today: Don't just sit there, waiting for change, do something. One small thing, that moves you to where you want to go. Right now.